People, come on, stop judging that she should have had a family and she should have avoided the bad people, so as to avoid the suspicious death,etc, etc and please stop projecting that her life is incomplete. I was not felt the need to write this blog, till some of my friends who are young divorced women and single-mothers, said that they feel somewhat insecure. To you my friends, I share my take -away from the great life.
- A life influenced by others- Yes, it is so wrong to let others decide your life. But it is not a sign of weakness, rather a strong, self-confident person who perceives their loved one to be weak and in need of their support, naturally would opt to prioritize others. Ours is a patriarchal society and we women are so, so used to put others' interest first than that of ours. They say, when love and skill works together, expect a masterpiece. But here we have this extraordinary person who excels on things that is not her passion and proves that even on the life that 'dictates' you with trying situations, you have a fair chance of winning, with a strong heart and mind. Learn that.
- Family protects you - This fact is not proved scientifically and clearly disproved by history, especially if you are in the top echelon of the authority. Anyone with little knowledge of political history couldn't agree more. It is the risk associated with the power. Kindly remember, in situation like this, the gender is of little or no significance. Our iron lady chose not to have the family around because, she might have found it safe that way, probably in the interest of both the sides. Respect that. For an ordinary women, who prefers to stay away from family, very small steps like not boasting about what you own, avoiding a materialistic relationships, having a proper registered will, networking with like-minded people etc may be of help to a great extent.
- Bad Company - On the alleged bad company, we all know our Ex-CM is more intelligent than you and me. She cannot be compelled this long for any reason, with some one's company. We have been hearing the stories of some machinations since 2011. And still for some reason, she prefers some people over others. It is easy for us all to blame that she is not wise enough. But as far as I have seen, this is how the world works, starting from the business entities where manager swindles, to the law firms where some clerks manipulate things for personal benefit. Don't be that naive to think that people on top are unaware of such things. They always know and they are helpless since these are the executing hands, the people on top have to rely on for their smooth functioning of day-to-day deliverables, and as the circumstance demands, the executing skill is weighed over the ethical standards. They do know the risks but this is the best available option for anyone heading an entity. Technically, I will choose a bad company when my external threat is higher than the internal threats or when the benefit derived from the so-called bad company is much more than the risk it poses. Friends, here we have only two options, either to limit our goal so that it requires less or no dependencies from others or to choose a higher goal that needs a team that performs. To choose is my right and no one can judge or sympathize with it, for I know the risks of my choice.
So what are we supposed to do?
I feel, we are so privileged to grow up in a State that was ruled by a strong, intelligent woman. It is more like having a home where a mother decides. Right from the cradle baby scheme to the free bicycle to Govt. school going girls, we are used to some of the finest pro-women govt. policies. Here too the acid attacks, honour killings and other kinds of violence against women prevails but we know it will be handled properly and well taken care of.
They say- as is the mother, so is her daughter. Our leader left the world unveiling a great lessons to us. It was said in an article that she helped many kids from very poor background for their education but when they later wanted to meet her to thank for the good life she gave them, none was able to meet her. The message, I can interpret is, my part is over and you just move on. Rather going through the unproved stories of our Ex-Cm's life and death,
- Pursue your dream,
- Stay healthy,
- In office, stop feeling insecure with the women co-workers; and be fair and kind to them,
- Even in a smaller way, support other woman in her endeavor,
- Express that you care and share your learning with other women in family/friends/co-workers,
- Establish and maintain a good network,
- Encourage and be supportive to women who leads in your concerned domain,
- Establish a group and make your social participation,
- Learn to independently manage your properties and funds, be it collecting rents, paying property taxes, or making investments,
- Help and guide other women in trouble,
- Whenever possible, if found equally skilled, engage women professionals to perform work/service.
- Smile, because people knows rudeness is an expression of fear.
Why because, we have the likes of our beloved leader struggling out there, who still have to invoke the motherhood/sisterhood emotions and has to cover them with that long robes, fighting for their safety and to gain equality. And if you happen to see someone criticizing our beloved Ex-Cm's life, tell them she had a grand, meaningful life, inspiring millions of young women and that her life is so complete.
Good one Jothi. Really needed one now. Good or bad company is view from others. On that concern person angle she will accept a company if she's good to her.
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