Healing!

So, what do we got?

She asked the heart.

It is of someone's.

The heart replied,

It has been months and I couldn't stop the bleeding. No amount of bandage could contain it. The heart told her with its pale face.

What brought you here? She asked while gently turning it over to check.

Trust, it answered and continued. I believed another of my kind. I believed in its depth and warmth. I uncovered myself layer by layer, showing all my inner veins and wounds that I never shared to any soul on this earth. It gave back words of peace and a smile of assurance that I am safe. We both talked a lot, deeper and I divulged to it about my purpose, how I engage, what I have, and what more I need as we gently walked through many places. 

And then what happened? She asked that heart without patience anticipating a decisive event that made this death blow.

The heart explained to her,

I was fenced off abruptly. I feel like standing day and night, naked in the coldest of the primitive weather known to this earth. I feel like each of my healed wounds that I uncovered are open and bleeding again now. I feel like there are too many injuries to heal from. I feel constant tremors and seizures in me. I feel like I may not survive this. 

She whispered to the heart and said,

So be it. Don't heal. Don't try to survive. Do nothing that pains you anymore. Stay still. You are young and doing nothing, heals. 

Do you know this? The young heart asked her.

Exactly not this. But I know something like that, She answered. It didn't take months. Some things made me quick to move on. I used to water plants daily. There are trees that I remember as saplings, which I placed in the pit and filled in, decades back. They hit the moon now. They taught me that you don't need one like you to be rooted in and become vulnerable. It is enough to have an environment. And there is a place under that country gooseberry tree where I had buried a dead butterfly, keeping it on a white periwinkle flower. You need to be gentle while watering the plants over there. I alone know it. 

See, the little things that you do with your hands are vital healing parts of this life.  

The heart after listening to her asked,

Moving on quickly? Isn't it more damaging? 

Come on, little one. Anyday, standing up, surviving is better than your Chinese protest position of Tang Ping, lying this flat and watching the sky. She teased the heart.

The heart laughed out aloud, flipping to its left side. You just made a joke during an intensely painful situation, the heart said with its wide eyes sharply looking into her. 

With a smile she said, that's what happens when you grow up. Every difficult situation and every people you see is a factual joke. It is what it is. You can't undo anything and you can't change anyone. Engage, experience, and move on, with a smile and without judging. Every person has their own world and experiences that we can't understand.

And she added, lying flat is good if it strengthens your life's energy. 

The pale white heart turned a little red, unfreezing itself after that laugh. Humour, heals. 

You just glorified those so-called simple and smaller things, out of proportion just like some spiritual leaders. Right? There aren't any simple and smaller things about life, right? The heart that was lying open critically questioned her.

Okay, you think too much for your age, she laughed and said,

I don't manipulate. When in intense pain, doing those simple things, consistently is all possible for people to do. That's what one should begin with. And I agree, there is nothing simple and small about this life. It is a grand magic!

Since you have been sincere and open with your emotions, I will share with you a secret. In a situation earlier, when my life experienced a death's pain, when the trust and hope are deeply injured, when I was freezing, when I opted to be invisible, when I took comfort in a little space, shutting everything out, while sleeping most of the time, and settled in a home, I had this weird dream...

A tiger was trying to get inside to my home, that doesn't look like my real-life home. I saw that furious tiger and thought to myself that I have a gate and solid walls. So, it can't come in. Then I saw an agitated elephant walking and smashing the entire gate, the walls and the front part of my home. Now both the elephant and the tiger were in front of me, confronting me. I was there, with great fear and I sense only my parents were there in my home somewhere at the backside. To survive, I killed that tiger with dinner forks in my hand. Suddenly I saw it becoming a dish on a plate which I was still piercing into pieces. A tiger, that was furious, that was hungry, that was impulsive, that can roar, that can proficiently hunt alone, that rigidly defines its space with its claw markings, has been killed. 

Still, there is an elephant, that is ancient and massive, that is matriarchal, that has attached and deeper feelings, that is expressive, that is caring, that is protective, that is playful, that can love deeply, that can reason and think, that has a strong memory, that delivers brutal rage when harassed and threatened, that has compassion, that loves peace despite enormous strength, that has a brilliant sense of scent and hearing, that is self-aware, that can remember and grieve long, that can walk a great distance with a well-bonded group, that can create new paths, that can make an essential contribution to the ecosystem, that can lead its group not through fear but with respect and understanding,... staring at me after smashing those walls, refusing me to settle down at that little home. 

What do you do about that? The elephant. You have to live, engaging with that before resting at home.

Do you see and feel these inner energies and conscience? You can move on seamlessly when you are connected to it. She spoke to that little heart in a way like a mother to a child.

Can I hold you, so that you get warmer soon? She asked that heart with concern.

No, don't come to me if you are not committed, the heart replied.

I will talk to you and will tell you when I am leaving. A promise. Will that work? She asked.

Yes, the heart agreed.

She picked up that little heart with her hands carefully and kept it closer to her heart. She felt its beats, fast and uneven.

Will I be alright? The heart asked her.

Have that same courage. A heart that has the ability to love well always survives, she assured.